Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Being Uncomfortable

Sean and I have been here now for two weeks and one day. It feels like much longer and yet we haven't really even begun what we came here for. We came here to go to Bible College, right? Well, it seems as if there might be a different, and much greater purpose in us coming here. I have always said that being in an uncomfortable place is the very best spot you can be because then you are forced to be totally dependent on the Lord and rely on His strength rather than your own. Well, that's exactly where I am. I've been heavy hearted lately about my need for Him and my lack of knowing how to get more of Him. Here I am about to start Bible school and all I can think about is going home. Why? I love the sun here, I am so excited about the upcoming semester and this exciting new adventure! But, I am uncomfortable. Everything I know is pretty much back home. Where to find the best deals on groceries, where the sweetest hiking, running, spending alone-time-with Jesus spots are, where I can run when I'm having a hard day. But here, I only have a couple things I know. My thoughts for the last week have been so caught up in what I am lacking. So from now on, rather than focusing on what I don't have, I am going to focus on what I do. It's so easy to get stuck in the lack-there-of and not to rejoice in the things that are so amazing right in front of me. I have Jesus. Isn't that enough? Though I am so uncomfortable, He is near. He is my comfort, He is my joy, He is my everything. I could not and will not be able to last a second without recognizing His presence in my life.

It's been a hard last week. I've spent so much time worrying about finances, wishing I had friends here, hoping that each day would go by quicker, desiring God to show me what I'm to do with all my time and all along He was just whispering gently to me, "Come away with Me." It took me what seems like an eternity to finally figure this out. I've struggled with questioning whether or not He really led us down here, how He will provide for our needs, if I get too sick what will I do, why my body seems to be constantly in some sort of pain. All of these things are real, and He cares about them, but He is also real. He has lifted my burdens and is renewing my strength. One of my favorite verses has always been;

"Yet, those we wait on the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." 
-Isaiah 40:31(NASB)
Wow! I never realized that so many years down the road I would need that encouragement so much! I am so thankful the truth that has become a reality in my heart. I will become strong, I will not grow weary, as I wait on my King. He leads me, He guides me, and I would be a fool to listen to the lies that say otherwise. 
I hope you are encouraged today that no matter how uncomfortable you are, there is nothing like have Jesus right beside you saying, "Come away with Me." 
Have a Jesus filled day and never forget who you are in Christ! 


  1. I send ((HUGS)) and love to you Ashley. Yes, uncomfortable spots are good for us because just as you say they drive us to our Father and to your husband!!
    I heartily suggest a book for you - "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. SOOOOO Excellent in helping find joy right where we are - even in the midst of pain and discomfort. Praying for you!! Love you girl.

    1. Thank you so much! I didn't mention in my post at all but Sean has been such a huge source of encouragement and a great leader during this whole thing! I am so blessed! I will definitely look into getting that book :) Love you so much and hopefully I will be able to see you in the near future... maybe after some baby boys are born! Love you!

  2. Love you sister! I am so very glad for where you are at right now... Glad because I know that it's in total dependance on the Lord, rather than me, or your favorite coffee spots, or running trails :)
    You and Him! on an amazing/scary/incredible adventure! You and your Hubby on a new journey together!
    I'm praying for you. And can't wait to see how the Lord will reveal Himself to you in this time!

    1. Thanks sister! Love you so much!
      P.S Your last post about the Iboshi boys was fantastic! I love all those pictures! They seriously prepared you for motherhood! Haha!